Our words have incredible power. With our tongues, we can praise God, preach His Word, and lead others to Christ. Yet with that same tongue, we can tell lies, ruin reputations, and break hearts. The ability to speak is the ability to influence—for better or worse.
In James 3:1-6, we find powerful wisdom about controlling our speech and understanding the outsized impact our words have on our lives and the lives of others.
Why Is Controlling Our Tongue So Important?
James begins this passage with a warning about teaching: “Not many of you should become teachers, my brothers, for you know that we who teach will be judged with greater strictness.”
Apparently, many people in James’s church wanted to be teachers, yet they couldn’t control their tongues. James makes it clear that not everyone is called to teach, and those who do face a higher standard of accountability.
Why? Because teachers who aren’t truly called or equipped can fall into dangerous traps:
- They can wander into false doctrines and vain discussions
- They can make confident assertions about things they don’t understand
- They can lead others astray with their words
The Tongue Trips Us Up
James continues with a sobering reality check: “For we all stumble in many ways. And if anyone does not stumble in what he says, he is a perfect man, able also to bridle his whole body.”
This is James being brutally honest—we all struggle with our speech. Every one of us says the wrong thing sometimes. Most of our regrets in life are related to words we’ve spoken.
David gives us wisdom in Psalm 34: “Keep your tongue from evil and your lips from speaking deceit.” Our speech problems typically fall into two categories:
- Saying evil things (hurtful comments, boasting, lying)
- Speaking deceit (half-truths, exaggerations, twisting facts)
The tongue has the power to build up or tear down. We must choose which one we’ll do.
How Much Does Our Tongue Control Our Lives?
James uses two powerful metaphors to show how our small tongue controls our entire life direction:
The Bit in a Horse’s Mouth
“If we put bits into the mouths of horses so that they obey us, we guide their whole bodies as well.”
A small bit can control a 1,500-pound horse. Similarly, our tongue—though small—can control our entire life direction. Something hurtful said can lead us down a destructive path, while something encouraging can open doors of opportunity.
The Rudder of a Ship
“Look at the ships also: though they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are guided by a very small rudder wherever the will of the pilot directs.”
The tongue is like a rudder—small but powerful in determining our direction. But notice: the rudder doesn’t direct itself—the pilot does. What controls our tongue? Two things:
- Our mind – What we think about eventually comes out in our speech
- Our heart – Our emotions and desires fuel our words
Often, what goes on in our mind affects our heart, and then our heart gives orders to our tongue. We let our minds race with worries, drama, and possibilities, which then travel to our hearts. When the opportunity arises, our mouth opens and we say things we shouldn’t.
The Tongue Stains Our Lives
“How great a forest is set ablaze by such a small fire! And the tongue is a fire, a world of unrighteousness. The tongue is set among our members, staining the whole body, setting on fire the entire course of life, and set on fire by hell.”
James doesn’t mince words! The tongue is like a spark that can ignite a forest fire. And anything touched by fire is marked—stained—sometimes permanently.
We’ve all seen people destroy their lives with a single rant or outburst. Jesus addressed this in Matthew 15:11: “It is not what goes into the mouth that defiles a person, but what comes out of the mouth; this defiles a person.”
The word “defile” literally means to stain or sully. And what causes this staining? Jesus continues: “But what comes out of the mouth proceeds from the heart, and this defiles a person.”
To control your tongue, you must control your heart. The Bible says the heart is “deceitfully wicked,” and our tongue merely reveals what’s boiling inside. We need to “render” our hearts—breaking them down and removing anything unhealthy.
How Can We Train Our Tongue?
“With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse people who are made in the likeness of God. From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers, these things ought not to be so. Does a spring pour forth from the same opening both fresh and salt water? Can a fig tree, my brothers, bear olives, or a grapevine produce figs? Neither can a salt pond yield fresh water.”
James presents us with a choice: we cannot have both blessing and cursing coming from our mouths. It’s like trying to get fresh water and salt water from the same spring—impossible. The salt water will always contaminate the fresh.
Let’s be honest—it’s easier to criticize than to encourage. But James says we must choose. If both blessing and cursing come from our mouths, we become like a useless swamp. And just as people avoid hiking through swamps, they’ll avoid relationships with those whose words are toxic.
As Christians, we must train our tongues to build up, bless, encourage, and show compassion rather than criticize.
Life Application
If you struggle with controlling your tongue, here are some practical steps to take:
- Ask God to work on your heart – The source of our speech problems is usually our heart. Ask God to purge, prune, and remove anything causing harmful speech.
- Repent when you fail – When you say something you shouldn’t, don’t just ignore it. Repent to God and to those you’ve offended. This helps prevent future mistakes.
- Practice self-control daily – Controlling your tongue is a fruit of the Spirit that grows over time. Give this area to God daily.
- Don’t give up – When you blow it, ask for forgiveness, make it right, and keep moving forward. Persistently over time, God will develop self-control in your speech.
Questions to Consider:
- What typically triggers my harmful speech—is it stress, insecurity, anger, or something else?
- Do people feel uplifted or drained after conversations with me?
- What specific area of my speech does God want to transform right now?
- How can I intentionally use my words to build others up this week?
Remember, the power to tame your tongue comes not from your own strength but from surrendering this area to God and allowing Him to transform you from the inside out.
